how to support a loved one in distress

SUPPORTING A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER

Receiving a diagnosis for a loved one can be overwhelming. Give yourself and them time to come to terms with it. Remember to read up on the condition. Be open to engaging with support groups and consider family therapy. It is important to understand not to make their entire life about the diagnosis. Encourage them to focus on other aspects too. Keep in mind that your loved one would like to make their own decisions when it comes to their treatment plan and how to lead their life. While it may be tempting to tell them what is best- share your opinion but honour theirs.

Whether your loved one has already received a diagnosis, is contemplating getting help, or at the beginning of journey towards seeking help, here are some Do’s and Don’ts to keep in mind.

DO's

  • Read up on what they are going through.
  • Be kind- it goes a long way. Your understanding and compassion can play a role in their recovery.
  • Ask them what they would like from you. A space to vent, a hug, a person to sit with them while they go about their tasks, to be accompanied to the therapist, to be given some space or assistance with a particular task.
  • Be realistic about what you can offer and gently convey the same.
  • Some conditions can make everyday tasks like making the bed, whipping up a quick meal, having a shower, very difficult. Depending on the equation you share, see if you can give them a hand with a task they are struggling with.
  • Communicate. If they prefer text messages, text them. It’s alright if they don’t always respond, they could be overwhelmed. Let them know you care for them.
  • If they need assistance choosing a therapist, you could volunteer to research and help them with the process.
  • If there are issues within the family and they want to discuss it, try to keep an open mind. Try to be objective with the information being given to you.
  • If possible accompany them to therapy and seek your own if needed.
  • Tell them that whatever emotion they are feeling is valid
  • Be open to conversation and willing to listen to whatever they share.
  • Honour your boundaries and theirs.
  • If there is talk about suicide – make sure they get help immediately.

DONT's

  • Don’t belittle anything they are going through.
  • Do not shame or label them. The last thing they need is judgment.
  • Remember the person may have struggled all their lives with whatever they are going through. Don’t assume you understand; feel free to ask questions, gently.
  • Don’t force help but communicate that help is available.
  • Even if the person has been recently diagnosed, they may have been struggling for a while. Give them time to come to terms with a diagnosis. Don’t rush them.
  • If there is any disclosure of information such as sexual abuse, assault, domestic violence, be empathetic. Let them talk as much as they want to. Do not challenge them. Gently suggest they talk to an expert.
  • Don’t bombard them with suggestions on how to handle challenges.
  • Don’t neglect taking care of yourself.

Resources for Families Coping with Mental and Substance Use Disorders

SUPPORTING A CO-WORKER

While some headway has been made, with organizations talking about mental health and putting programs in place to nurture that of their employees, we are a long way from providing equal opportunities to those battling mental illness.

    If a co-worker or team member is in distress, here are some ways to support them.

  • Be open to conversation. Allow them to share to whatever extent they would like to.
  • Be respectful always. Your patience and understanding can go a long way.
  • Offer to help if you have the time and resources to do so. Even taking a small task off their hands can help an overwhelmed team member.
  • Maintain confidentiality.
  • Gently express that you understand and won’t judge them.
  • Don’t push for information.
  • Encourage them to seek help within (if available) or outside the organization.

Encourage open conversations on mental health and check in regularly with team members on how they are doing.

Every individual may need a slightly different environment to flourish. If workplaces can provide flexibility and support, team members would be happy and comfortable, and productivity, soaring. People with mental health conditions can be extremely intelligent, creative, and compassionate. They would be an asset to any organization.

Read more on How to be Supportive

Read more on What to Say and What Not to Say to Someone with a Mental Health Condition

Read more on Mental Health in the Workplace

HOW TO BE A MENTAL HEALTH ALLY

    Here are a few things that we can all do to be a mental health ally.[27]


  • Empathize. Kindness and empathy is a soothing balm for those struggling with their mental health.
  • Read up on mental health and encourage others to do so.
  • If you have the capacity- conduct programs to raise awareness on mental health and encourage seeking help.
  • Be careful with the language you use. Saying things like- ‘I am so OCD’ or ‘I feel Bipolar’ can be extremely insensitive to those battling them. These conditions can be debilitating so never use it in jest or casually. Similarly don’t refer to others with names of conditions.
  • Do not call people ‘crazy’ or ‘mental’ or ‘insane’ in any vernacular. Using such terms reinforces societal stigma.
  • Take care of yourself and if you are supporting a friend or co-worker, be clear on what you can offer. Set and honour your boundaries.

← Barriers To Treatment

Make a Difference

Resources →
Make a Difference